I am loving Christmas this year, but not because of the presents. For the first time (I know this sounds really sad) I have really felt "The Spirit "of Christmas. I am getting really emotional writing this, so please bare with me, and I am sorry if it doesn't make sense.
This year our family has been on an emotional roller coaster ride that never seems to end. Because of the difficulty of finding a full-time job and the diminishing hours of a current job, we have experienced a lot of hopelessness, doubt, anger and fear. We have wondered why, if we are doing everything we are supposed to, why aren't things working out. A lot of times we have felt that we were given the opposite of what we felt we wanted or needed. We have been in a a dark tunnel, with no light at the end of it.
But what I have come to realize through the challenges is, I may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I know without a doubt that it is there. Sometimes we are left in the dark, so we will search for the light. This Christmas season I have found that light, and because of that light I have found that hope and peace that comes with it. Looking back, I see how blessed we have been. Through one source or another, we were always provided with the things we needed (usually by the government or family :) We have felt the love and strength from family and friends who have prayed and fasted in our behalf. I have come closer to my Savior, because I know that he has felt everything that I have this past year. When I have felt that things were unfair, I remembered that Christ, who was perfect, was not exempt from suffering and trials, and that his suffering went above and beyond my own. I have felt that when I cried, he was right there crying with me. At times when I have felt broken and without hope, he had his arms around me holding and keeping me together.
It is true that what the Lord takes away, he gives back a hundred fold. In my case, he took all the pain, sorrow and anger, and filled me with joy, peace and love. Our financial circumstances haven't changed, but I no longer feel that this is a challenge, but an opportunity to put my trust in the Savior, and feel of his love and power.
I am sorry I wasn't able to give out presents to people this year, but I wanted to offer my testimony as a gift instead. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!!!
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8 comments:
<> and thank you for uplifting me, and helping me feel the spirit too...
The first part of my post disappeared! It said HUGS! :)
Thanks for sharing Pam...that right there put me in the right Christmas spirit. And now I've got teary eyes. Love you!
I really appreciated this post and needed the reminder that the savior is always there. Not that I haven't prayed a thousand times in the last 48 hrs, but remembering he has felt all the sorrow we have ever felt. Yesterday I miscarried my baby. It was the hardest thing I have ever been thru. But for some reason today I have been emotionally sane!?? I don't know how, but I guess really it is the savior keeping me strong and knowing we will get pass this time. I am so grateful for eternal families! I am really thankful that this happened during the Christmas season too. It has really kept me focused on the important reason for this time of year. Thank you!!! & Merry Christmas!
Your so sweet =) I am happy for you guys!
We love you guys and wish you the best Christmas ever. We love you guys.
i feel you!! This is our hardest year we have ever had but i feel like even in when we have felt or still feel in the dark. If we are doing what we should and trying. somehow we make it. and we have gotten really close the the lord. It's amazing what a blessing a struggle can be.
Hey Pam, I hope you guys are doing alright. I know exactly how you feel with the fear and anger and then the peace that comes when you leave it all up to the Lord. I have had so many health problems since Lainey was born. We still haven't figured out what is going on yet, and it has been very stressful for us. But thank you for your testimony, it's good to know that we are not alone in all these trials in life. BTW-we do not have internet at home which is why I haven't updated my blog in forever and why I haven't checked yours out either. Take care ~Sher
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